FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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