thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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