So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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