can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
