I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
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