I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You pole danced in your parka.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
