keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
