I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize