his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
