Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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