I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize