I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
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I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
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Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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