I wish I could punch you in the face.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
porn star boner night. come get it.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
