my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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