First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
