your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
