Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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