dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
