im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
