My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
That accounts for only three of the penises
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize