As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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