We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize