So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
