I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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