if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
