So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Randomize
