Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
