I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We need a shit load of segways right now
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
