i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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