It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
