You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My cat gives me a boner
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.