Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"