I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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