At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
