you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
