If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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