its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
