another moral hangover. fuck.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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