im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We have so much sex to catch up on
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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