Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
