there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
