i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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