she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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