Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
its not stalking. its research.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
