Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
