Ambien. No doubt about it.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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