and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
