the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
