Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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