Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest