im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
