Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Wonâ€™t Believe
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.