he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?