counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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