i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
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