I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Are we still banned from the library?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
