What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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