Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Damn victory sex feels great
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
