Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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