Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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