DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
