Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
