Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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