OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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