The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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