i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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