so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
