I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Randomize
