so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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